Whose Marbles Have I Lost Now?
Seriously, you would think I would learn by now and honestly I thought I never really had a problem before yesterday. See when I get a little down, I like to go to our local humane society and look at the dogs and the cats. I've seen older cats that remind me of my favorite who died last year, but none that tempted me. Nope, I was stone cold with regards to cats. It was the puppies and dogs that would catch my eye, but I knew I couldn't do that to my poor 13 year old cat. She barely tolerated the dog we had for a year. So what's the story and why the blog post about things I'm not getting?
See, yesterday I went there as my little pick me up completely on a whim. They've got tons of kittens and I walked past everyone in the Kitten room even the two orange tabbies. They are so full of kittens that there are some in the Puppy Parlor. No puppies just tons of kittens. Siamese, black and white, calico, brindle, creamy white and yellow. All super cute, but I wasn't buying it. Then I saw him. Alone in a cage, his engine started as soon as I drew near. He meowed, not croaked and he didn't give in to temptation and roll on his belly, but mine never did right away either. He could have been my boy's son or little brother or nephew. And he grabbed my heartstrings and hasn't let go. So here's why I'm going insane. I know, and I mean it, I know we don't need another cat. I know that when the cats are gone Phil wants a break from animals for a little while before getting the dog he's been longing for. I know all this, but my heart is breaking again. I know I don't need him and that it's an irrational thing, but I want that kitten. To me he's a salve on the open wound left by my favorite. No, I'm not being melodramatic, you get a cat, fall in love with him, think he's going to be around for a few more years and then have to put him to sleep and then tell me your heart's not ripped open and bleeding.
I know this kitten is not him. I know this kitten has its own personality. I know this kitten may choose to love one of the kids more than me. I know this kitten won't replace my favorite. But I still want him.
Seriously, you would think I would learn by now and honestly I thought I never really had a problem before yesterday. See when I get a little down, I like to go to our local humane society and look at the dogs and the cats. I've seen older cats that remind me of my favorite who died last year, but none that tempted me. Nope, I was stone cold with regards to cats. It was the puppies and dogs that would catch my eye, but I knew I couldn't do that to my poor 13 year old cat. She barely tolerated the dog we had for a year. So what's the story and why the blog post about things I'm not getting?
See, yesterday I went there as my little pick me up completely on a whim. They've got tons of kittens and I walked past everyone in the Kitten room even the two orange tabbies. They are so full of kittens that there are some in the Puppy Parlor. No puppies just tons of kittens. Siamese, black and white, calico, brindle, creamy white and yellow. All super cute, but I wasn't buying it. Then I saw him. Alone in a cage, his engine started as soon as I drew near. He meowed, not croaked and he didn't give in to temptation and roll on his belly, but mine never did right away either. He could have been my boy's son or little brother or nephew. And he grabbed my heartstrings and hasn't let go. So here's why I'm going insane. I know, and I mean it, I know we don't need another cat. I know that when the cats are gone Phil wants a break from animals for a little while before getting the dog he's been longing for. I know all this, but my heart is breaking again. I know I don't need him and that it's an irrational thing, but I want that kitten. To me he's a salve on the open wound left by my favorite. No, I'm not being melodramatic, you get a cat, fall in love with him, think he's going to be around for a few more years and then have to put him to sleep and then tell me your heart's not ripped open and bleeding.
I know this kitten is not him. I know this kitten has its own personality. I know this kitten may choose to love one of the kids more than me. I know this kitten won't replace my favorite. But I still want him.
posted by Amanda @ 12:57 PM
1 Comments:
At 8:31 AM,
BriteLady said…
I understand completely. There is a beautiful gray-calico kitty who's been hanging around the neighborhood the last few months. I don't know if someone owns her, but she is really friendly and sweet, and followed me into my house one day last winter. I had to shoo her back out into the garage, but left the garage door cracked so that she could stay warm for the night, and gave her water. She talked to me with those large cat eyes, and I know she didn't understand why she couldn't just move right into the house. Charlotte didn't quite understand either.
Post a Comment
<< Home