My Boy

My little man struggles so badly. He's 5 going on 6 in July. He's one of the youngest in his kindergarten and he's also one of the smallest. He's a great kid, but he has some issues. He's very impulsive and doesn't listen to directions when they don't suit him. The school system has never dealt with a kid like my son before. Meaning the usual scare tactics didn't work on him. So my Kindergartener is currently being isolated from the rest of his classmates within a "box" in the classroom. He doesn't get art, music, pe or recess. He eats lunch by himself in the in-house suspension room. All this because he has trouble controlling his emotions and has trouble socializing in large groups. He wants to be the center of attention. When he gets frustrated with someone, he'll hit that person. Never the teacher. But he'll get frustrated with his classmates. The most recent incident happened when he asked a girl to see her artwork in Art class. The girl said no, instead of leaving it at that, my son grabbed her arm to pull it out of his way. Unfortunately, his nails were a little long and probably jagged, because he dug them into her arm. He didn't mean to hurt her he only wanted to see her picture. So because of episodes of uncontrollabe crying and hitting kids, he gets to sit in a box where his only social interaction is with a sign that he can hold up if he needs help.

I feel powerless. Because of my schedule and where I'm working I can't go into the school to discuss it with the teacher and the principle. He's been evaluated for ADD and such, but if you know my son, he has no problem concentrating when it's something he's interested in. And we were told he's just growing up. I don't know what to do. Kindergarten used to be the time that the kids learned to socialize with each other, but now, it's basically 1st grade. He's learning to read and write, and math. They have very short recess. Kids don't get to be kids anymore. I don't know who decided that this is what was best for my kid, but I think someone ought to have a talk with them. Academically, my son is spot on. He was in the highest reading group and knew all the counting he needed to know half way through the year. What he desperately needs is to learn to socialize. I've set up some play dates, but he's fine when it's one on one. The principle suggested I invite a larger group of kids over. Hello!!! Not really wanting to deal with a bunch of 5-6 year old boys on the weekend. If I thought it would help my son, I would, but I think I would just get a migraine. We have a group birthday party next weekend and in May. These may show us what he needs to work on, but it may not.

I've been about two steps away from saying f##k it and quiting my job, but to do that we need to be a little less in debt than we currently are and you can say goodbye to saving for college. Dilemas. I don't think I can get my job to be part time on a full time basis.

Let's just say that life sucks for my son right now. He's five and as long as his self esteem survives he'll make it. Since I told him not to cry anymore, I'll just have to cry for him.

TAX PARTY

At the end of busy season, on the 15th of April (this year extended until Monday), the office goes to lunch at around noon and doesn't come back. We go out with spouses in the evening and almost everyone takes the following day off. This year we went to Demolition Ball, which is basically bumper cars with a purpose, use a basket like stick to throw a wiffle ball at a net. Two teams of five each. It was a lot of fun, but probably not the thing for a person with a bad back. I have some lovely bruises across my hips from the lap belt and quite enough pain to last me a few days. I'll just add it to the list of fun things I can't do because of my back and hip. So far that list includes bowling (crutches for a week) and horseback riding (never tried, my physical therapist scared that notion out of me). Neither of these are real hardships. But when you add things like running and dancing the list gets a little worse. But I digress. Tax Party drink, eat, be merry. Hurl your bumper car right into your bosses car to stop him from passing the ball. All great fun. A good way to end the season.

Taken for Granted

This weekend we went to my parent's house for Easter. The kids have a blast being at Grandma's and Grandpa's and seeing their cousins. My husband tends to veg with my dad in the living room. Meanwhile my mom is in constant motion. Fixing meals, fixing drinks, doing dishes, picking up toys. The thing is she has always done everything for my dad, brother and I and thinking about it on the way back home again, we still do. Sure, we rinse our dishes and make sure they are in or near the sink, but how often have we just done the dishes. We know that mom will follow behind and clean up. She won't ask for help, but I know I should be giving her more help. She's currently working on the farm house that she bought for her and dad to move into. It's a two bedroom ranch with a corn crib, an old dairy barn and a big shed. Somehow she has to squeeze 27 years of living in a three story Victorian with 3 bedrooms (not including the finished attic) into it. I offered to help her go through some stuff but by the end of the day, she was exhausted from keeping up with the grandkids and us. Fortunately with busy season over, I should be able to get up there more often. I just need to keep in mind that even though I tend to veg at her house I need to put in the effort to try to be more helpful.

Dad

Sarahlynn posted a commentary about a NPR program regarding partner parenting. I have always said I would not want to be a single parent. Without my husband, life would be a lot harder. My career choice would be impossible. For the past 3 months I've worked 55 hour workweeks including Saturdays. My husband has taken it all in stride. Of course, there have been moments. Usually I'm around to intervene and let him go do something alone. Ah, my introvert. He may not be perfect, but he's a great dad, regardless of what he'll tell you.

Who's Broken Now?

So those that know us know that my daughter broke her leg in December. She's two & a half years old. So any time my kids hurt themselves it's always "broken" even when it's not. My son also is a bit overdramatic. So at Soccer practice, my son decides to try to stand on a soccer ball. And I get a call from my husband asking which hospital is closest. Fortunately, we pass by a friend's house on the way out of the subdivision. My daughter asks if we are going there, so I try their phone, but then K pulls in with her daughter and is willing to take my daughter while I run to the hospital. (Thanks a million, K&M you guys rock) So I get there after a half an hour in traffic (I should have run even with a bad hip I probably would have gotten there faster). My husband and son were a room with Scooby Doo on. To get my son's attention I put my hands over his eyes and he pulls it down with his hand to see Scooby. Of course, my husband explains that that was the arm that he fell on and cried for 20 minutes about. Apparently, it was feeling better by then, he still got examined and xrayed and the doctor said there might be something at the wrist. So he has a brace until the radiologist gets a chance to look at the films.

England?

My husband's job posted an opening for someone over in Sheffield, England for a two year position. The position is currently in development and probably won't start for a year. Originally when I was searching for a career, I wanted to go with one of the then Big Five accounting firms to be able to possibly take a short term assignment overseas. The decision would have been a lot more simple years ago, before my son started school. However, based on his kindergarten performance, maybe going away for two years would give him a fresh start when he got back. My husband thinks it would be amusing to have kids with English accents. My main problem is I wouldn't want to give up my house. Most people either sell or rent their houses when they go, I wouldn't want to do either. I can't stand the thought of someone I don't know living in my house. I like my house and would want to return to it after the two year period. Of course, the idea of putting my career on hold doesn't both me much. The company would provide housing and if we decided the public schools wouldn't work, I could teach from home. It's definitely a possibility. That is if he's the one selected to go.

Interesting Discussions

We've lived next to the same neighbors for the past 4 years. We know that they have two girls and the father is a doctor that happens to have worked with our friend Mark in the past. We've had the kids play together a little before a few times. Yesterday, we went over to retrieve a launched missile that ended up in their fenced back yard. The mother, Tracy, was just going to go across the street to invite over a neighborhood kid to play and asked if we'd like to join. So as the kids played I talked to Tracy. Come to find out that she part-time home schools her kids and that she, too, had been a CPA. She does some grant writing now from home and knows of people who need help with their financials/bookkeeping. I mentioned that I had thought about staying at home with my kids and of course, both our wheels started to turn. So there may be potential out there. But I have this compelling loyalty to my current employer. I know they'd get by without me, but I like the work I do. The hours suck sometimes, but the work is good. Ah, decisions, decisions.