How Long Does It Take You to Complete Your Shower?

Strange question I know, but seriously normally between 10 and 15 minutes which I would say is pretty average. Today, it took me an hour. Now granted most of that time was spent out of the shower, but... So I'm halfway through my shower, cream rinse in hair and just about to soap up when the hot water cuts out. I've done some laundry and washed dishes, so I shut it off thinking I'll soap up and turn it back on when I'm done for a quick rinse in lukewarm water. Not ideal but hey at least I'm clean. I finish with the soap and carefully hug the interior walls of the shower while carefully turning on the knob. The water kicks in right away and is freezing cold. We're not talking a drop a hot water and cold water. We're talking oh-my-God-what-the-f***-happened-to-the-warmth-this-is-freaking-freezing cold water. I quickly shut it down and stand there for a few moments waiting hoping beyond hope that a trickle of warm water is being created in the water heater and at any moment I'll be able to turn on the tap and rinse. The soap bubbles are beginning to pop and standing in a shower stall without steaming hot water can really chill you to the bone. I try again. Polar ice caps have warmer water. Okay, so wrap towel around soapy body and go down to water heater. I peer at the machine like I know what I'm doing. Hmmm. Switches. Nope those don't do anything. Button. That either. I go to the kitchen sink and turn on the water. Oh, hot water. Yippee I fixed it. I race back upstairs and turn on the water. Ice in liquid form. What the---? Back downstairs to the kitchen sink. Apparently I drained off the last squeak of hot water through it a few minutes before. I call Phil. Sure he's at work but I'm not an imbecile so he can talk me through it right. We look at the fuse and the circuit breaker. Nothing. He tells me to dry off there's nothing more he can do from there. Easy for him to say. I would have dried off if I didn't have a layer of soap attached to my skin slowly drawing out any moisture and hair matted down with cream rinse.

I flip another switch and go back upstairs. Hoping against hope that the time I've played with the water heater had allowed five minutes of built up steamy goodness. No such luck. I knew what to do in these currcumstances. I pick up the phone and start to dial Mom. As I finish dialing I realize it's only 7 in the morning there and hang up. So I wracked my brain and came up with a solution out of my Mom's handbook.

In England, everyone has an electric kettle to make hot water and somewhere a bathtub. It's just the way it is. I put on a full kettle of water and plug it in. Then I go upstairs and fill up the bathtub with an inch of icy cold water. I go back to the kitchen and wait for the kettle to stop. I pour that kettle of water into a large pan and put more water on. Then I take the pan upstairs and dump it into the tub. Then I realize that by the time I bring up another kettle of water this one will be frozen. I trot back downstairs and fill the pan with a bit of water and put it on the stove. When the kettle is done I add it to the just starting to boil water and add more water to the kettle. When that one is done I add it and carefully walk upstairs to the bathtub. After adding it to the water and getting a not wonderful but better than freezing my keister off temperture. I finally get to finish my shower which turned into a bath.

Now if only I can find a way to incorporate this into my NaNo story. It's got to be worth at least 1000 words. Oh, well at least I'm clean.